This is an entry to complain abt my current relationship. U can read it for all u want, but if u find it boring, den juz skip it.
I'm starting to get bored in my r/s..... I feel tt i'm like some holiday gf/call gal to him. I HATE this feeling whenver he neglects me, esp the start of a new sem. Coz he will be always busy wif hall camps, trainings, n blah. I try to be understanding n give him the space he wants, but at least, i should demand some respect from him.
I know tt he doesn't like to bring me to his hall bashes, never liked to get lovey dovey in skool - we seldom hold hands in skool, n even when we accidentally met each other in canteens or corridoors, we would only glance at each other, he never even came n say Hi to me...... Even frens would hv the courtesy to say Hi right?
He never liked me to watch him play bball matches, never send me home b4 (unless he's going to ntu, coz it's on the way), he don't even bother to pick me up from my place even he is taking a cab to go skool, n the irony is, we are suppose to hv lunch in skool together!!
N the worse thing, he NEVER calls me whenever he goes back to hall. Well, maybe u guys r thinking tt he will SMS me, but U r WRONG. HE dont even sms me...... If i sms him, sometimes he dont even bother to reply. We DONT sms each other anymore. Those sweet msgs tt he sent me in the past only lasted for the 1st few months when we got together. Since then, sweet msgs from him r like artefacts kept in the musuem, juz like sms kept in my inbox dated almost 2 yrs back - SMSes which i can only read, but can no longer receive. This is how bad he is. He do have some good points, but since i've already mention tt this is a complaint entry, so i'm only gonna say abt all his bad points.
For instance, i called him ytd nite ard 11plus, but he cancelled my call the 1st time. So i called him a second time, n guess wat? He off his moblie this time round!!! Well, he did call me back like 5mins later n explained to me tt he was in the midst of Ktv-ing tt's y he didn't wanna ans my call. But y cant he even spend like 10seconds to tell me tt he'll call me later?? N when i asked him y he wanna off his moblie, he said tt he knew i would call again. Well, since he knew tt i would call him again, den he should juz fucking ans my call!!! I was kinda pissed wif his actions, but soon, i was pretty cool abt the whole matter. Coz maybe i've become numb to his stunts or in another words, i cant be bothered to get angry wif him anymore.
Can i love without strings attached? Can i date other guys even if i have a bf? Am i too paranoid or too demanding? Other gals have boyfriends, i also hv bf. BUt y other gals r so blissfully in love n they have such doting/sweet bfs while my bf is so bo chap abt everyhting? Do i have the courage to end the r/s even if there's no third parties, no big fights n when everthing seems as if it's stable n we r doing fine?
I dunno wat exactly i can gain from my current this r/s. ALL I want is someone who loves me n got the balls to express n declare his love for me openly. I want lotsa excitment n romance in my r/s. Someone who is proud of me, n wants me to be part of his life.....
Somehow, the 'falling head over heels wif u' feeling has faded.... I feel tt my r/s has reached another level and became a mundane n rountine one.
Maybe all these thoughts will come n go.....
But i do know, we r no longer the same when we first started.... Things have changed...... I have come to know the Real You, n get to know myself once again - coz i never expected myself to be so Compromising towards you......
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